Defense With the BoomStick

This thing on? Check, check...am I transmitting?? Freaking wires man. I am gonna kill that little punk who messed with my radio setup; the thanks I get for letting them into my stronghold and helping them and their little punk kid messed this up. Hey it is working. Howdy everybody it’s Brandon here back on the air after a little radio trouble but no worries, as your good pal wouldn’t miss his show time for nothing except for a zombie attack (but I took care of that earlier). Hell can still smell those bastards burning out there, and take my word for it you never get over that smell no matter how many you kill and burn. So let's see what's new today. Not sure if you heard any of my cussing and language before another family showed up at my compound and they been helping out around here although their little son is no help whatsoever (just a pain). I have been hearing more news about the few safe places to go and apparently the one operating up in Rhode Island was overrun over the weekend. What I heard from others was it was a mad man who let all the zombies in their front gate. Terrible news I know folks and I hope none of ya'll are heading that way, but if you are you might run into the few survivors of that place. Heard they got some transportation moving them so be on the lookout. Now for the prize part of my show the tip of the week. I have blessed upon you folks a good portion of my wisdom and acquired knowledge of these undead bastards? Think I am gonna go over bludgeoning weapons, and the best type that you can have with ya. Now folks I know I briefly been over this topic before, but that was in a hurry since I was trying to save as many lives as possible in those first few days of the zombie outbreak. So first question to ask yourself is what is the overall goal when using a bludgeon weapon? Anyone? Anyone? Well let me tell you it is to crush the brain or the remove the head from the neck thus making that oh so scary zombie and pile of nothing. Now this sounds easy right? Wrong! Getting the force into a swing to crush a zombie’s skull or to break all the tendons in their neck takes a good amount of brute force. This sort of attack should either be used as a last ditch effort to dispatch a zombie or as a way to knock them down to escape. Most commonly found types of bludgeoning weapons are gonna be a stick, wooden club, ax handle, cricket bat or wooden baseball bat, all of which that, in a pinch, are good for knocking zombies down or shoving them out of your way, but are not strong enough to put a zombie down for good in one swing (and that is usually all you get). Next you might be able to find a lead pipe or sledgehammer if looking in the right places and these two have the necessary power to crush a skull, but they are difficult to swing against a moving target and also are quite heavy and no good to have if you are on the run. Same goes for aluminum bats, or cheap equipment of the like as they are great for sports but horrible in fighting the undead as they can do some damage but bend with repeated use and become useless. Carpenter hammers and other hammer-like tools have that good solid head or claw side to strike into the skull of an advancing zombie, but usually they have a short handle and you have to get in real close to use them (most of the time that spells doom for you). A few of the best bets to have are steel crowbars, the metal tire jack and things of this nature as they are strong and durable for repeated uses, and have pointed and curved edges that can be stabbed through the eye of a zombie or can be used to trip it up. The added benefit of being able to pry open doors or shift heavy objects and other tasks is also a bonus as you don’t have to carry another tool when this one does so much. There it is for all you fine folks still out there fighting tooth and nail with these undead bastards, remember we have to keep the fight going if we are to get our world back so stay alive and stay mobile. This is Brandon signing off.. now where is that little punk. I am gonna give him a whapping for messing with my radio….