Defense With the BoomStick

The end of the world is something that may or may not happen, but if it does its good to be prepared. Defense with the BoomStick by Brandon Pilley (Omnicomic's resident zombie expert) will bring you a short tip to survive should the end of the world include zombies. And since we're dealing with zombies, please be aware that some tips may depict some rather gory scenarios. But last I checked zombies aren't looking to have a delightful cup of tea with you. Welcome welcome welcome to the greatest show on the Earth bringing you all the news you need to know and really the only thing to listen to when bored. Brought to you by our sponsors Mac’s Gun Emporium, the only place to go for that certain firearm you need to pop some zombie heads. It’s me Brandon again and I almost missed my show time as got held up in the line at Mac’s Gun Emporium (because his prices are insane, so you better get over there for a great deal on that sawed off shotgun you’ve always wanted). Anyhoo, lets get to the broadcast for today and see what's shaking in the zombie world shall we. I don’t know about you folks out there listening, but it sucks day after day after day: kill zombies, burn their bodies, eat lunch, kill more zombies, take a shower, eat dinner..you get the idea. At least that is my daily routine and I throw a little variety in there with basic repairs and upkeep of my compound, which actually brings me to a sad story. One day I was working at a part of my wall and heard this cry for help so I get my ladder and climbed up to see what’s making the noise, and it is this guy limping through the woods. I spy him with my binoculars and see that he has been bitten on his leg, but before I could get back down off the ladder the guy spots me and heads right toward me asking me for help. I know if I let him in he is gonna turn but I can at least let him have some sort of rest before that right? So I let him through a side entrance to my compound get him in the house bandage up his leg making sure to keep all the blood away from me. Give him some whiskey to drink and let him relax on the porch as when I shoot him he doesn’t get brain stuff all over my furniture. Anyway we sit there chatting and he is telling me his story (I didn’t ask him his name because if I did I would feel attached to him and might not pull the trigger when it was time). That is something you have to always remember when someone is a zombie: they are a zombie and not your best friend, wife, brother or that person you knew. After we ate dinner I could tell he was getting close to turning as his skin was getting pale and his eyes were getting that look, so I asked him if he wanted me to finish him before he turns or after. He says before as he doesn’t want to be one of them before going to see the almighty, thus I agreed and we walked to a stretch of my compound to do the deed, and then I bury him and put a marker for his gravesite with the word “friend” etched on it. Well on to the tip of the week for those of you blessed souls still out there continuing the fight for survival. Gonna talk about suitable locations to hide out and perhaps make a permanent stronghold until we take back our world from them. When picking a place to become your home a few things comes to mind that you need and those are supplies, thick walls, strong doors, and means of escape if needed. For that matter these are some good locations to hold up in, such as shopping malls, fallout shelters, military bunkers, missile silo bunkers, houseboats, and marinas. Since shopping malls are the most common and easiest to access these make great holdout places because they have plenty of supplies, multiple escape routes if needed, thick shatter proof doors and plenty of room for survivors, plus ways to keep your mind off the undead. Fallout shelters are great for most of the same reasons as the shopping mall except are usually much smaller, are underground. Military bases and missile silos are perfect because they are already hardened defense places that are difficult to get into and usually have good supplies of ammo and rations. Plus you might be able to contact other bases and survivors and start the rebuilding process. Houseboats work because zombies can't swim, as they just walk on the bottom of any water area they are in (but they can climb an anchors chain so be careful). Marinas can be useful if it is the right type, because most marinas around the world can be detached from the dry land and becoming your own floating island and also a base to stage raids from to get supplies from the city. Now each of these places have their strengths and flaws so make decisions wisely that will keep you living that much longer. Well that’s it for today this week. It has been a long one and I will just leave it at that. Till next week this is Brandon signing off and out…